How to Kick Anger in the Teeth

We’ve all experienced anger, whether a minor frustration or extreme rage. Anger, a natural emotion, can be healthy, beneficial, or destructive. It can spill out with words that bite like venom. Anger destroys relationships, galvanizes politicians, divides families, and separates friends.  

In our nation, the dominant emotion of anger is on the rise. A war of hate is burgeoning at the national level, threading through the corridors of life in states, cities, and homes. 

When anger comes to my house, how do I close the door on it? 

DO WHAT IS RIGHT

God gave a directive to Cain, the first son of Adam and Eve, to do what is right and rule over anger. This message is still valid today.

Genesis 4:3-7 (ERV). At harvest time, Cain brought a gift to the Lord. He brought some of the food that he grew from the ground, but Abel brought some animals from his flock. He chose some of his best sheep and brought the best parts from them.

The Lord accepted Abel and his gift. But he did not accept Cain and his offering. Cain was sad because of this, and he became furious. The Lord asked Cain, “Why are you angry? Why does your face look sad? You know that if you do what is right, I will accept you. But if you don’t, sin is ready to attack you. That sin will want to control you, but you must control it.”

Cain was furious because his offering was unacceptable, ignoring his parents’ and God’s instructions for a proper sacrifice. Cain’s anger towards God mirrored his cold and disobedient core, and his uncontrolled outrage led him to murder his brother.

Abel’s offering showed his love for God, and God commended him. Abel had faith. So, he brought to God a better offering than Cain did. Because of his faith, Abel was praised as a godly man. God said good things about his offerings. Hebrews 11:4.

Cain had the opportunity to do what was right., to rule over his emotions. Still, the unrestrained rush of anger ruled him instead (and he forgot to count to 100!)

When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hudnred.

Thomas Jefferson

RULE OVER ANGER

If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it. Genesis 4:7 NIV.

Our Creator gives the gift of emotions.  Along with the gift comes the ability to“rule over”  responsibly and wisely. Emotions are better followers than leaders.

In God’s directive to Cain, a compelling word picture of a tiger crouching in the deep grass ready to pounce helps me see the need to control emotions. When staring the tiger in the eyes, my response could mean life or death.

Anger, like a tiger crouching, is ready to have you. God says, take charge before it attacks! Rule over it! Shut the door! Sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.

Sin is always ready to “have” us. It’s waiting for the opportune time to pounce. When someone pushes our buttons, there’s a fight in us. We want to get even, dish it out, take the first shot, give her a piece of my mind. That is the time we must rule over it, or it will rule us.  

James, the brother of Jesus, gives insight into understanding the struggle. Do you know where your fights and arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that make war inside you. You want things, but you don’t get them. So you kill and are jealous of others. But you still cannot get what you want. So you argue and fight. You don’t get what you want because you don’t ask God. (James 4:1, 2, ERV).

Anger has a price tag. Cain’s anger cost him his place in the family, his brother’s life, and God’s presence.  Cain said to God, Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence (Genesis 4:14). If Cain had ruled over his anger, his destiny would have led him to a much brighter future with God’s blessings and favor.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Mark Twain

HELP OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

When we ask God for help, He gives it!  With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can do what is right and rule over anger.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:23-24

Self-control, a fruit of the Spirit, kicks in and becomes stronger with practice and perseverance. God will help us “do the right thing” and “rule over it.”  

So don’t live under the control of sin. If you do, you will think about what sin wants. Live under the control of the Holy Spirit. If you do, you will think about what the Spirit wants. (Romans 8:5, NIRV).

Ephesians 4:26-32 tells how to control anger:

1. When angry, don’t sin. Let your mind lead rather than your emotions. (Ephesians 4:26, 27).
2. Keep your words gentle. They turn away wrath (Proverbs 15:1).
3. Control your tongue (James 3:6, 9-11).
4. Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit by your response (Ephesians 4: 30-31).
5. Forgive with kindness (Ephesians 4: 32). Jesus exemplifies the ideal for us. “Father, forgive them (scourged him, jeered, forsook, insulted, spit on him, nailed his hands and feet) for they don’t know what they do” (Luke 23:34).

I can control anger when I DO WHAT IS RIGHT, RULE OVER IT, and yield to the HELP OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32.

Cain grieved the Holy Spirit when he disregarded God’s directive to “do the right thing.” If flesh leads, sin is crouching at the door; words can’t be unsaid, actions can’t be undone. But when we yield to the Holy Spirit, we can control anger.  

Doing what is right, ruling over emotions, and yielding to the Holy Spirit will help conquer anger and generate words and behaviors that please God.  God says it’s true!

PREPARE AHEAD OF TIME

When anger comes to my house, I’m not inviting it in. I have determined ahead of time to close the door, and if need be, kick anger in the teeth!  You and I can count on the Holy Spirit to provide the strength to rule over anger.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the gift of emotions. Let me honor you by doing the right thing, ruling over my anger with self-control, compassion, and forgiveness for the one who angers me. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Colossians 3:7-9.