It’s easy to become offended.  Responding to an offense in a way that honors God is challenging. As always, Scripture gives us help.

 “A person’s wisdom yields patience;  it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11).  

The word “glory” refers to a person’s beauty of character, honor, or virtue.  The NLT translation states it this way, “Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.” 

God calls us to develop a character that resembles Jesus by overlooking offenses with forgiveness and honor. He died for those who offended him.  How can we develop the faith we need to be less offended and be more like Jesus?

Let’s lay the groundwork.

Jesus told a parable of the soils found in three of the four gospels.  Look at the text in Matthew 13:20-21

 The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away (they are offended). 

The word “offense” comes from the Greek word skandalon, our word for scandal.  Being offended can become a trap that snares your thinking, actions, and relationship and causes you to stumble.  Not becoming offended is a matter of faith development and character that honors God.  When offenses take root, relationships break, a marriage ends, or people at church leave because of an offense.  Jesus called it a “lack of faith.”  

THE HOME CHURCH WAS OFFENDED BY JESUS

Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. “Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?” they asked. “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother’s name Mary, and aren’t his brothers James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas?  Aren’t all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things And they took offense at him” (Matthew 13:54-57).

When Jesus showed himself a teacher and rabbi, they became offended. They couldn’t believe Jesus was more than the familiar neighbor kid. 

Isn’t it interesting that church people today seem to be easily offended?  Whether over Scripture preached, or someone didn’t shake their hand, or didn’t say “hi.” Someone else was offended because the pastor encouraged them to read the Bible daily, or the message had too much talk about Jesus.  Offenses are a trap that reveals faith or lack of it.

Jesus responded,  “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home. And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.”

Offenses are often by those close to us. 

THE PHARISEES WERE OFFENDED

Some Pharisees and teachers of religious law now arrived from Jerusalem to see Jesus. They asked him,”Why do your disciples disobey our age-old tradition? For they ignore our tradition of ceremonial hand washing before they eat” (Matthew 15: 1,2 (NLT).

Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?   For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. (Matthew 15:3-6).

Then Jesus called them hypocrites, “These people honor me with their lips but their heart is far from me.”

The disciples said to Jesus, “Do you realize the Pharisees were offended by what you just said” (v12).   

Jesus told his disciples the Pharisees it’s not what we do on the outside, like washing hands that defile us, but what is in our heart. 

 But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.  These are what defile you. Eating with unwashed hands will never defile you “(v 18 – 20).

When I’ve been offended, it’s about me!  Jesus warned that offenses would come, but it’s a chink in my spiritual armor to dwell on the offense and not deal with it. The hackles of self-importance tell me to get even, snapback, and make sure my rights are intact.  Or, I keep thinking about it over and over.  But Jesus says there’s a better way. Let it go. Choose God’s path to take the high road.

The offended, religious Pharisees were jealous of Jesus, his teachings,  miracles, and his following.  Their jealousy and anger eventually turned into cries of “Crucify him.” 

Offenses cause people to stumble in their faith. 

OFFENSES ARE A SPIRITUAL MATTER.

Look at Jesus, our example.  When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly (1 Peter 2:23).   

It’s a journey of faith and practice to become like Jesus.  It’s an uphill climb for all of us, but the Lord wouldn’t have put the directives in Scripture if we couldn’t do it! 

BREAK THE TRAP OF OFFENSE BY FORGIVING THE OFFENDER

When offenses come,  that same old evil weed of self-righteousness pokes its head up.  Left unattended, we become the rocky soil that doesn’t have deep roots of faith.  Forgiveness is a cure for self-righteousness.  It takes the venom out of the offense and frees you from its effects.

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” Corrie Ten Boom

Jesus taught the principle of forgiving.  The Lord’s prayer says when we forgive others their offenses, God will forgive us of ours. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14).

Forgiveness is easier when we realize God sees the offense. ^“For God is pleased when, conscious of his will, you patiently endure unjust treatment” (1 Peter 2:19). 

Forgiveness is easier when we understand God will take care of injustice against us.  Jesus entrusted himself to him who judges justly.  1 Peter 2:23

Forgiveness is easier when we remember that God forgives us as we forgive others. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

‘Anger, like a fire, when covered goes out, but when given the smallest vent consumes everything in its path.” 

Forgiveness breaks the trap of being offended.

Forgiving is a choice, not a feeling.  Being offended can stumble your faith. “ And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.”

BREAK THE TRAP OF OFFENSE BY GIVING HONOR TO THE OFFENDER

Jesus said we are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute (might I add, offend) you! (Matthew 5:44).  We honor God when we seek to show honor, even when we don’t agree or like them (at the moment, or ever). God says we are to honor others above ourselves (Philippians 2).   

Although counterintuitive, God created each human being in the image of God with life and blood, worth, and value.  Whether they know it or not, whether they are evil or good, each one is made in God’s image and deserving of honor. 

“Show proper respect to everyone.  Love the family of believers. Have respect for God. Honor the emperor. 1 Peter 2:17 

The Emperor/King at that time was Nero, a wicked, evil man who persecuted Christians, yet Peter writes to honor him. (See the blog on Honor, Part 5 Submission in Holiness, https://wordimpartation.com/part-5-submission-in-holiness/

Honoring others helps curb the offense.  Not all offenses come from evil Nero. The other person may be having a bad day, may not have noticed you (oh, my), or didn’t say what you thought you heard.  We honor others by giving them allowances and understanding we’ve had days where we failed to be the best example of a faithful follower of Jesus. 

God created all of us in His image, and we are to honor others, even those we dislike.  Though not easy, honoring others will keep us out of the trap of being easily offended.  Actions follow decisions, not feelings. 

James puts it this way:  Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves….You’re spoiled children, each wanting your own way (1:1,3 The MESSAGE)

With God’s grace and help and humility (do not think more highly of yourself than you ought), becoming offended will be MINIMIZED, and becoming more like Jesus will be MAXIMIZED. 

In the good soil, we work at weeding out the evil weeds of pride.  It costs painful toil to break up and remove rocks, cut and burn the briars in the cold or heat.  It’s hard work!  But, It’s a commitment of perseverance in keeping our soil good and productive.  

You may cut the evil weed self-righteousness up; but when you think you have got to the last root of it, it will be shooting up again before you can sharpen your knife to cut it up once more. This evil thing is bred in man’s nature. (Charles Spurgeon Sermon 2594 “The Offence of the Cross 1898).

A CALL TO ACTION

Offenses trap us, weaken faith, and raise our self-righteous pride with a sense of one’s importance.  Do offenses show we think more highly of self than we ought?  It takes a measure of God’s grace and humility to keep pride resting adequately in faith.

God sees each offense and will help us as we willingly choose to honor Him by honoring and forgiving those who offend us.

LET’S PRAY:  

Lord, give me a heart like yours – one that is not easily offended.  I want to become more like You.  Help me forgive and honor others when I’ve been offended.   I choose to obey your Word and grow into Your unoffendable heart.  In the name of Jesus, my Savior, Amen.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14